For years, I dreamed of seeing my name on a book spine in a bookstore. I thought that dream had to begin with finding an agent, signing a deal, and following the traditional path. But when I finally reached the crossroads between waiting and doing, I realised something important: there isn’t just one way to become an author.

But then something shifted.

If you write, you’re a writer. It’s as simple as that.

Instead of being the only option, traditional publishing became just one of many possibilities. With that in mind, I set myself a deadline, so to speak. If I didn’t garner any agent interest by a certain date, I would go it alone. Not as a backup plan. Self-publishing was always on the table.

I sent forty or so queries to agents and independent publishers. Every reply was a no, but I didn’t feel disheartened. A few offered feedback on their rejection. And it had nothing to do with my writing style, but the story wasn’t quite the right fit for them.

One agent said he liked my writing, that it was very commercial and readable. This rejection, although it was a rejection, felt like validation.

What more did I need?

Creative Control

My story doesn’t fit neatly into one box. It’s a slow-burn, psychological thriller. It’s a domestic thriller. It’s also a cartel thriller, with a romance sub-plot.

As an agent pointed out, Under His Shadow “feels slightly outside the usual territory of these thrillers,” and that “in this kind of domestic set-up, it felt slightly unusual”.

But one person’s unusual can be another person’s refreshing.

Self-publishing allowed me to tell my story as it is. Granted, it won’t be to everyone’s taste. No book ever is. But I wanted freedom over the story, the tone, the pacing.

Professional Quality

Self-publishing gets a lot of bad publicity. If you don’t go the traditional route, there’s a strong prejudice that your book isn’t up to standard.

Self-publishing is often synonymous with cutting corners in some readers’ opinions. Only days after I released Under His Shadow, someone asked me if I self-published or got an official one.

Choosing to publish independently didn’t mean doing it alone. It is like running a small business. I worked with professional editors, beta readers, and alpha readers to ensure the final book met the same standards I’d expect from a traditional release.

I didn’t want my book to look good for a self-published book. I wanted it to look good.

Connecting with Readers

I’ve spent two years trying to build an online community and connect with authors, indie or trad, and readers who are more interested in the story than how it was published. Writing isn’t about money, fame or how you got published; it’s about connection. It’s about telling the story.

Every person who picks up a copy of Under His Shadow is part of this journey. Without readers, there wouldn’t be any authors.

I understand that taking a chance on indie authors is a big leap of faith. As an avid reader myself, I find that my bookshelves are filled with more traditionally published authors than indie authors. But I am trying to change that. I want to read more great stories, regardless of their publishing method.

A Sense of Achievement

As I said above, this story has been brewing on my USB key for over a decade. There came a point where I needed to either see it through to the end or give up.

But giving up was never really an option. I’d have felt like I let myself down if I didn’t see this through to the end. So, no, it wasn’t published traditionally, like I imagined it would be when I penned the first sentence. But it’s published, and that is something I am immensely proud of.

As cliché as this may sound, success isn’t just about sales or rankings. Success is holding my book, knowing I made every decision that brought it to life. Success is knowing my story can be read by anyone who so wishes to read it.

Choosing independence wasn’t easy, but it was empowering. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t choose traditional publishing for future projects. I simply felt that self-publishing was the best option for this novel.

Writing and publishing this book taught me more about patience, courage, and trust than I ever expected. And I know I’m not alone — every author’s journey looks a little different.

I’d love to hear from other writers who’ve walked a similar path — whether you’re querying, self-publishing, or still deciding which direction to take. What helped you make your choice?

And to the readers who’ve supported indie authors like me: thank you for taking a chance on our stories. You make this journey worthwhile